I was enrolled in a six-week summer programme in school from
June to August. In the programme, each student was involved in two separate
group projects, a film project and a science project.
I had two friends, Robert and Sarah, who ended up having a
conflict during the final stages of the group projects. The conflict began over
David, a member of Robert’s film group as well as a member of Sarah’s insect
biodiversity group.
Robert wanted David to join the film group project because
they had some editing work to do. Sarah had assumed that Robert wanted David
immediately for the entire day as they were leaving early to play football.
Hence, Sarah had refused to relinquish David. Sarah felt that she had more
right in asking David to stay and work on the insect project, as the deadline
for the project was earlier than the film project. Robert, on the other hand,
could not understand why Sarah was being selfish. Robert had been saying
whatever that came to his mind in a bid to relief his irritation but it was
only making the situation worse. Similarly, Sarah felt her decision was
justified and refused to give in. As a result, they ended up fighting.
In hindsight, I think the conflict arose from having the wrong
assumption and lacking in empathy. The failure in clearly stating intention, active
listening and in seeking clarification may have led to miscommunication. This
resulted in the argument.
After this experience, I am now struck with this question:
Do communication
skills precede emotional intelligence or is it the other way round?
For example, if Robert had self-regulated his feelings
instead of saying whatever came to mind, he could have stopped to question Sarah
and found out why she was being so adamant.
